Condemned

it’s not that i have a problem with your happiness, nor that i have a problem with the relationship or you being with her. i have a problem with change. and this is a big one. i have a problem with questioning situations. “what happens when they break up? will i have to choose between them?” i have a problem with acceptance, “how can i be happy for them when it’s so strange for me to see it?” it’s strange for me to see it, and i’m not making it about me. i don’t understand how you can be so UPSET when it’s still fresh. it’s fresh in my mind and fresh in every sense. a new beginning. maybe part of it is i wish it were that easy for me. that i could just write him a note and have him declare that he wants me too…that will never happen for me the way it’s happened for you. it’s just going to take getting used to, until then, don’t condem me for being “cold” or “rude.” i’m not trying to be…i guess that’s just the way i am.

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