i absolutely can not talk to him. every time i think about it i freeze up with nothing to say. i just want to have the strength and the courage to just say “hi” even. or even just to ask him a question about class or something. why is this so hard for me? he’s just a boy- a very attractive boy, but still a boy. i completely broke down at lunch yesterday because of my lack of words to him. i kept envisioning just saying hi, but every time i wanted to, i found i couldn’t do it. i cried explaining this. it’s at that crucial point where i can no longer avoid it. i may be shy, but something tells me so is he. and if i don’t say something, he probably never will either and then nothing will ever come of this infatuation.
i got a sign though on my way to first block yesterday. i was walking down the hall thinking what i wouldn’t give to see him before first block as opposed to waiting for second hour. not a minute after my thought was finished, he came walking down the hall. it has to be some sort of sign. though i was passing a note with the girl who sits next to him in mystery lit and i swear he read it. it was all about him. why i like him when i started liking him and how i want to talk to him but am unbearably shy. i don’t know how to talk to him i suppose. what do i say?