acknowledgment. a head nod as you walked past. i waved and said hello and you likewise returned the gesture. is it selfish of me to want more than this from you? if i asked your forgiveness for the things i said and the awkwardness that ensued, would it be easier for us to be friends? sometimes i wonder why i wrote that note. why i let it fall into your hands with only the slightest apprehension. perhaps i was just curious as to what you would say, if anything. i wanted to see your reaction. and i hoped more than anything that it would be the reaction i desired. it wasn’t though. and now that i am little less than ignored by you, i’m hurting. i’m not certain why i care as i do, all i know is that i care. i can only wish to my soul that you did too. but that is all i will ever be able to do. i will never have you with me, though you are always on my mind. it would seem a cruel trick of fate, my feelings for you being what they are and wherever your feelings may stand, i am sure they are not what i would prefer them to be. but fate does as it pleases with no regard to the wants of the parties involved. i will in time learn to accept this fate, but for now all i can do is look at you and wonder why. why will i never be able to hug you? to hold your hand? to push your hair away from your face? to fix your shirt collar when it is crooked? to kiss you? to love you? why will i never have a chance to be with you? the answer should be plain yet i fail to recognize that any reason exists. all that i seem to recognize are my feelings, for i am blinded by them. it’s the way that you always seem to catch my eye. the way that you smile. the way that you laugh. the way that you are. it’s all you. and that is something that i will never be good enough for.


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