welp…

i wrote you a long ass fucking apology. i don’t really know why. not as if you deserve it. i mean, if anyone should be apologizing (more than the other, at least) it should be you. i expect to hear this (though i know i never will):
“i’m so sorry i told you i loved you then only 12 hours later broke your heart.
i’m sorry i told you there was nothing between me and her. i’m sorry i said there couldn’t ever be.
obviously i lied to you. and i’m sorry.
i’m sorry i told you the reason we couldn’t be friends was because i still had romantic feelings for you.
i’m sorry i told you two weeks later that my feelings for you had diminished long ago, i just didn’t have the balls to tell you.
i didn’t have the balls to break up with you until i started hanging out with her more.
i’m sorry that’s what it took for me to finally grow a pair and tell you it was over.
i’m sorry it took me three weeks to tell you it was over for good.
i’m sorry i hurt you so much.
i know i don’t deserve your forgiveness, nor do i expect it, but i just wouldn’t feel good about anything until i apologized to you.”
but will that ever happen? LOL
fuck no.
you’re too full of yourself, you can do no wrong, you don’t believe that you have-
so, i’ll just sit here forgiving you over and over again for everything without an apology.
because i’m too nice.
and my heart is too big for my own good. 

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