a stupid idea and an equally stupid rant to follow

i’m thinking about texting michael in regards to my bed knobs and broomsticks vhs. i just would like for him to be open to looking for it is all instead of insisting he doesn’t have it. i’m 100% certain it’s somewhere in his possession. i’m just concerned that if i approach him about it in any way that he’ll have the completely wrong attitude as he has exhibited in the past. obviously that attitude extends from how he perceives my view of things to be. but i’m prepared to not necessarily be a friend to him but to at least be kind-hearted toward him in a way i wouldn’t have been capable of acting several months back. it would be nice to be able to speak to him civilly especially when it’s considered that we’ll be going to the same college in the fall and there’s a chance that we may run into each other somewhere along the way. i really wouldn’t want it to turn into another evan situation where he can’t even look at me let alone say hello. as i’ve said before, the michael situation is a bit different from the evan situation as it’s inverted. there’s really not a reason for michael to act toward me as if i’m the bad guy in the situation. i’m not saying everything i did within the confines of our relationship was perfect, but it certainly doesn’t constitute his acting as though i never existed in his life. which i suppose, if everything i’ve been told by others is correct information, isn’t exactly true considering how often he has something bad to say about me. but still, it’s completely ridiculous and uncalled for. i don’t want the past to invade the future in such a severe manner. i shouldn’t have to be afraid to talk to him about life’s civilities because he might be rude to me. i shouldn’t have to feel that way about it at all. as long as i’ve known him and as many conversations as we’ve had there is no reason for him to act that way or for me to be afraid of his reaction toward me. i really need to start dating more mature people who can handle break ups better. then again, if someone can handle things better, there wouldn’t really be a reason to break up. 😛 boo life. boo.

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