oh, but it is frightening, isn’t it, darling?

skype keeps tempting me to press that little green video call button, but i can’t. i simply cannot. it scares me to the very core to think that i could press it and you would discover how very little you actually like me. it scares me to think that there could be any possibility that you would actually rather hate me and never want to speak to me again or want anything to do with me. but the conversations we’ve have through text are lovely. i don’t want to ruin my ability to think before i speak and frighten you away. i so seldom type the first thing i think of. i am such a clumsy person with words in real life. i just am so afraid you won’t enjoy me. or you’ll find me obnoxious and annoying. or that my voice will freeze in my throat, and no words will be spoken. but i do adore you, and i suppose that, because of my adoration, these are legitimate fears. *sigh* where is this going?


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