invisibility

maybe one day i will share this with you. maybe one day i will trust you to know my inner-most thoughts and feelings…and everything that i have ever said here, you will be able to read. you always say that you love to learn about me, even those less-satisfactory things, but i don’t know. i don’t know if i will ever allow you to see this. to read these thoughts of mine. maybe it has something to do with my fear of revealing too much. of my fear that i may complain too much and too often. everyone tells me i’m a negative person, my glass is half empty- but no. i’m a realist. i see things how they are. it just so happens that most of the events of my life have been negative. there’s not really any way (at least none that i can see) to view the negative parts of life in a positive connotation. i do suppose they’ve made me who i am today. i do suppose that without those things i would be someone other than myself. i would look like myself, but i wouldn’t act like myself. and i think, correct me if i’m wrong, but i think the reason you like me is because of who i am. and i think, perhaps, you wouldn’t like me so much if i were anyone else. for that i am thankful. but for now, yes, maybe only just for now, i cannot let you see this. i have to stay hidden. i have to remain invisible.

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