what i’ve learned

it’s probably wholly accurate to say that “i’ve been afraid of changing” but for different reasons than what the song dictates. i haven’t built my life around any one specific “you”, but i am getting older, and as we get older, we do tend to change no matter how afraid we are to do so. i haven’t noticed a change in myself so much, but i’m certain i’ve changed and it’s easiest to tell when i go back to even a year ago and look at things i’ve written. i can see a whole new side of me, i’m growing up and maturing and realising that life is more than what fits in a small box that others will try to force you into.

life is a series of decisions, even if you choose not to decide, you have still made a decision. every decision we make in life leads us down a path and each path has side roads and ends in a fork. the fork is where we must make a decision, there is no choice to bypass the decision, it’s an answer to a yes or no question without the option of maybe. with every decision, every side road we take or bypass, every time we are forced to choose which path to walk down, we are changing. how could we ever be afraid of something that we do every single day without realising that we are doing it?

the truth is, life is scary, decisions are scary, changes are scary. it’s the uncertainty that makes it scary. there’s no way to predict with 100% accuracy where each decision will bring us. it may seem like the right decision at first, but a month down the road it could reveal itself to be a terrible mistake. that is why we are afraid of change. that is why we are afraid to answer tough questions and make rash decisions. maybe if we followed our hearts instead of our heads, we would wind up in exactly the right place in life. over thinking things is wasting time, and wasted time is wasted life. i would rather live free than to allow the fear of making a decision to keep me cornered in a place where i don’t want to stay. from here on out, i am going to answer questions and make every decision without putting too much thought into it. i want to see where life will lead me instead of attempting to control every aspect of life.

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